Two Sundays ago I stayed home with Parker and Logan while Jim went to church. Both boys had been battling a high fever and ear infections so we nestled in at home. As I folded laundry I listened to one of John Piper's sermons "Bloodlines to Bloodline". I hope you will take 30 minutes to listen to the message of God through John Piper. If you cant right now for whatever reason, I hope you will put it on your to-do list for later. I feel as though the very things God has laid on my heart he spoke through the mouth of Piper.
From Bloodlines to Bloodline
As a mother of boys I often find myself talking to myself saying "Goodness gracious, what is it going to take for them to 'get it'? What am I going to have to do for them to understand what I'm trying to teach them?" As I was straightening my hair one morning, I found myself having that thought and while looking in the mirror I was overcome with the presence of God as I was looking in the mirror and felt very strongly that HE was saying that very thing to me, "my daughter Kelly, what am I going to have to do for you to understand what I want you to know? What is it going to take for you to get it?" Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes to see and hear this! I believe that often times we, as Christians, wonder why in the world the God that supposedly died for us and loves us would allow such tragedy, heartache, sorrow into our lives. Perhaps such things would not happen if we would "get it" when God was trying to speak to us. As I look back on August 25th, I know for a fact now, that God was trying to talk to Jim and myself, he wanted us to earnestly know, love, and appreciate his grace! What is he trying to tell you? What does he want you to know? What is it going to take for you to "get it"?
God has been so good to us! God has opened our eyes to see the blessings in others lives. Jim and I thoroughly enjoy seeing God's hand work in the hearts of our friends and family. What a joy to be able to rejoice with these people as they give God all the glory. It's a blessing to us to be able to see this! I think its so easy to look at other peoples lives and think "well they sure are blessed, they have this, they have that, this hasnt happened to them, blah blah blah" but what a sour attitude that is! Why would we NOT rejoice with our friends when God is real to them, answering prayers for them, and being real to them. I cannot tell you what a joy it is to be able to hear of such joys! My friends, you know who you are, we rejoice with you in your obedience to the Lord and his blessings on you and your family! I pray that the Lord continue to humble and grow you! We are truly blessed to have you in our life!
My sweet friends in bible study have heard me share this already so just hang in there for a minute if you've already heard this. BUT...to those who havent... something I've struggled with all my life is fear. Fear of this, fear of that...you name it! I honestly started to feel like something was wrong with me. I would have people say "well just face your fear and you'll get over it" or "well that doesnt make sense, it doesnt bother me at all". It wasnt until the beginning of 2011 that I realized that fear was straight from Satan. I began fervently praying that God would free me from this fear. There is a song that I feel perfectly expresses how I felt. Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace (Chains are Gone). I truly have felt for so long that I was captured in chains of fear. Held captive in fear. Prisoner of fear. Thats the best way to describe it. I am so thankful that God ransomed me from this fear. He has cut my chains and I'm free, I'm no longer held bondage. My friends that's what the blood of Christ is! He sets us free! What are your chains? What is holding you bondage? What has you held captive? Is it fear? Doubt? Worry? Anxiety? I have truly read so many self-help books, worked through 5 step programs, etc to try and escape it. And I will tell you that there is nothing greater than the blood of Christ.
As I sit and pray over the requests of dear friends and family my heart is flooded with all the "yuck" of the world we live in. Depression, illness, divorce, tragedy, death, addiction, fears, etc. There are so many reasons to be afraid, fearful, doubtful, and anxious. But the joy in this all is that the Lord tells us not to be afraid. As we walk this journey of adoption there are so many fears and wonders that pop into our minds and our conversations. Many fears that have built walls between family relationships. Fears that have tried so hard to stop us on our journey. Fears that have given us many opportunities to detour and veer away from adoption. Fears that have made us think 3,4, and 5 times before going on. In Deuteronomy, Moses speaks to Israel and tells them to not fear because God has gone before them "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 So why then, should I fear? What is my fear based on? Do I not trust God is greater than my fears? What is your fear? Do you not believe that God is greater than your fear? There are so many things and people in our lives that try to justify our fears. May be friends, society, or even dear family. We have to be sure that we listen to God's voice, the voice of truth!
Thank you sweet Lord for loving us. Thank you for the grace and oh so sweet mercy that you have on us! We pray Lord that you open our hearts and minds to your will and desire for our life. Thank you Lord for asking us to step out of the boat into the rough waters where you are. Lord fill us with a desire so great to be with you that we will see your face over the rough waters around us and that the waters will not stop us from growing closer to you. I pray now for those reading this blog. Lord fill them with your holy presence. Grow the flame in their hearts to burn so high for you it is an uncontainable joy. Give them opportunities to live your love! Thank you Lord for dying for us and giving us life on this Earth. I pray that we will daily give our lives back to you. Fill our hearts, minds, and souls with your loving strength and endurance to face the woes of every day on this earth. But above all these things I request Lord, I pray that you be glorified in it all! Amen.
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