I will not be moved

While on the long journey of adoption, there are so many things that can come up and cause a bump in the road or even opportunities to veer off the path and close the book. Jim and I have been very open with our family and friends about the whole thing. We have encouraged the questions. It does not hurt our feelings for you to ask questions, doubt, wonder, or even talk about us behind our back. Last night while on the phone with a very very precious person in my life I said "I want you to know that you can be completely vulnerable with us. You can ask those questions that you even shudder to think ran through your head. You can ask those questions you are embarrassed to ask or fearful of our response. Ask!" It was 6 years ago that Jim and I had our very first conversation about adoption. And here we are 6 years later beginning the journey. I would be completely insane to expect our family and friends to be 100% on board with us 1 month into hearing about it. I will give you a 6 year minimum to get where we are...thats the least I can do. So dont be afraid to ask, dont be afraid to wonder, dont be afraid to question us. The one thing that hurts so very deeply is not when you question or doubt or even talk about me, its when you doubt God. Often times you hear people say that faith is blind or faith is believing what you cannot see. I believe that faith is believing God while you can see. I believe that faith is delivering and holding your stillborn son and knowing that God is by your side and carrying you through. I believe that looking into the yuck of our world and still believing God has a greater plan and that he will receive glory is faith. So then, how can I not have faith that God will be with us every step of the way. Yes I will stumble, I will make mistakes, and I will surely face heartache. BUT I will not be moved from God's ever-present embrace. I told this very precious person last night that I would never wish upon anyone to lose a child, but I would hope and pray for everyone to come to a place where they cant help but run to God's arms and trust him wholeheartedly. That is what I pray for my family and my friends. That is what I pray for the Congolese Community. That is what I pray for you!

So where are we in this process...let me take a minute to catch you up

1-1-12    Application and Doctrinal Documents Sent and Application payment made

1-3-12    Doctrinal Documents re-sent

1-4-12    Congo chosen

1-5-12    Received the Congo manual and heard from our case worker, Maegan

1-6-12    Policies signed and turned in and 1^st Agency payment made

1-11-12  Orientation conference call

1-11-12  Copies of items for home study

1-13-12  1^st Home Study Visit, fingerprints taken, application, dhr forms and fingerprints sent to SBCN (Security Biometrics Clearing Network)

1-20-12  Fingerprints received by SBCN, First discussion on selling the car

1-21-12  Registered for Hague Intercountry Adoption Online training, registered for International Adoption Clinic seminar, and bought The Connected Child

1-23-12  Individual Home Study Interviews in Huntsville

1-25-12  Fingerprints waiting adjudication

1-27-12  Registered for UAB’s online International Adoption Seminar, Kelly completed Hague Training

1-31-12  Heard from our Lifeline worker that will be working with us through Congo

The next step is our final home study visit which is scheduled for mid-February.  

Right now we are completing our education and training. There are 2 online trainings that we have to complete and a book to read. They are very informational. They share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lots of facts, statistics, and information. One of my favorite parts is watching videos of actual forever families and hearing them discuss their journey because it's real to them and it will be our reality.

Jim asked me last night if the conversation I had last night was good. My answer is yes! Did this precious person respond with 100% jubilation about our journey, no. But I was about to share my heart, share what God's done in my life, and give God all credit for what he has done...so for that reason...YES it was a great conversation!