The Mess

Each time I gave it a stir, it seeped over the edge and bubbled. With only half the ingredients in the skillet so far...I had to continue. So I dalloped, spooned, poured, and mixed in the next 4 ingredients until I had a skillet full of yummy goodness overflowing and heaped high, needing to be stirred yet again.  I was given the blessing today of preparing a meal for several special people. I chose a recipe I have made in the past that was a big hit with my boys...Cheesey Enchilada Casserole . Because I was making the dish for more than I typically prepare, I doubled the recipe. I purchased twice the amount of ingredients, got out an extra baking dish, and seemed to be prepared, well almost prepared. As I started adding ingredients to the skillet, I noticed it was filling up quickly and would most likely not hold the remaining amount. As I added each ingredient, it got fuller and fuller until it was past its capacity, which I might add is an understatement. So, once I was at the point of no return, what to do? Evidently, I forgot to double the skillet size. I now have a skillet full of yummy spilling over and burning the excess on the stove. Transfer to a larger skillet? Divide it into two skillets? Or embrace the mess and keep on stirring? For some odd reason, which is not typical to my character AT ALL, I chose to embrace my mess...and WOW...what a mistake! I think the mess multiplied in a matter of seconds. I quickly changed my train of thought and dealt with the overflowing yummy mess.

I cannot help but think of the mess that we allow into our lives sometimes. Perhaps we can foresee the mess ahead, but still do not prepare ourselves fully for it. Maybe we somewhat prepare, but not to the extent we should. Or maybe we have mess in our lives that slowly seeps out, little by little, until it adds up to a huge mess. Or its possible that we have one big mess on our hands and we choose to embrace the mess and continue on, its already a mess so whats a little more mess already added to my mess? Following me or totally lost? Bear with me as I try to bear with my thoughts. Let me break it down and make it simple for you (and me) to understand Mess=Satan. I believe it is a fair statement to say that when there is mess in our lives, Satan is involved. (Sidenote: If you are one of the special people I prepared a meal for....the mess I made while preparing your dinner had nothing to do with Satan, it was simply an analogy. I assure you that your meal was prepared with love and kindness!) Back to the mess. What mess do you have in your life? When I think of mess, I think of things such as stress, schedules, worries, baggage, fears, betrayal, dishonesty, enemies, temptations, and addictions. These are all things that may seem innocent and easy to deal with in small amounts. Whats one day of a hectic schedule and no time for the kids, tomorrow will be a new day? A more than friendly text to an old flame...no big deal, they live 4 states away. The truth would have really hurt her, all I was doing was protecting her. It's just this one time, nobody is around, and nobody will ever know. One little bubble over, that seems it would be easy to clean up and deal with. Our God is so good, always standing by our side, ready to hand us a larger pot, switch us to a larger pot, or clean us of our mess. But what if we dont turn and ask him to? We now have two or three spills that have bubbled over. Now that little lie has snowballed into something your having trouble keeping up with. You now feel you need that daily fix to get by. If you dont do all the things on your list you will let others down and what would those people think of you then? You now look forward to hearing from that old flame each day. This is how the mess starts and grows and spills over before we even know it. So what are we to do? Prepare. A recipe is only as good as the prep. Your life is only as good as the prep. What am I doing to prepare for this life God has for me on this earth? There is a long list of things we can do to prepare: spend time in God's word, spend time in worship, surround ourselves with godly friends, etc. But the greatest and number one thing for best preparation is simply turning to God daily, hourly, minutely and asking his guidance and desire for your life. GOD IS the best preparation. God is the ONLY preparation for avoiding mess. 

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

"Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin." Psalm 51:2

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

 

Do you really think we are that stupid?

I find it ironic that there is a statement I imagine Satan says quite often, that I have found myself saying recently. Whenever we fall into Satan's schemes or trickery, he smiles his devilish smile, laughing, and saying "Are they really that stupid?" Are we really that stupid to fall for his tricks and wicked ways? Funny thing...this very weekend I said the same exact thing back to him....."Satan, do you really think we are that stupid?"

Friday night, Jim and I were invited to celebrate a great accomplishment of a friend of ours. While talking with a few friends that night, I told them that it had been a really good week. I found it the first time I could honestly say that and mean it. That was an answered prayer in and of itself. The next morning, Jim was going to have the boys up while I made the grocery list, then they would swing back by and pick me up on the way to the store. While making my list, I diverged for a moment and decided to update my facebook status since I had not done so in quite some time. I updated it  to say "God is so good, yesterday, today, and always!" Within 5 minutes of clicking "post" I received a phone call from Jim, "Hey...I need you to grab an extra change of clothes for Parker and meet me in the emergency room" WHAT ? ? ? ? Long story short and a few details cut out: Parker fell, passed out, woke up disoriented, began appearing to be fine, then started throwing up. Several dollar signs and a CT scan later, they confirmed Pman had a concussion. How blessed we are that he is ok and his injury was not worse! We can handle a couple weeks of "no rough play" easily!

As we sat in the room waiting to hear the results I told Jim that I was really angry. I feel very attacked by Satan right now. And even more so, I am angry that he is using my babies to try and attack Jim and myself. How dare he mess with my boys....its really really starting to get on my nerves. Who does he think he is to assume that I am going to fall for his "tricks". I don't think so! Does he not know that the God I serve is greater than he? That the God I serve is the God of all creation? The God of all Heaven and Earth. Does he not know that the God I serve is Omnipotent and Eternal? Does he not know that I am a child of God? 

Sweet sweet Lord, Your grace and mercy is so great Father. Its a perfectly beautiful gift you have given us that we do not deserve. Thank you for the gift of life and choosing me to be one of your children. Thank you Lord for going before us and setting our path. I pray that your desires would become the desires of my heart. I fall at your feet Lord in thanks for protecting our Parker. Thank you for keeping him safe from greater harm. I pray Lord that you will guard and protect our family from Satan, his demons, and his schemes. Lord I ask that you build a hedge of protection around our house. Father guard our hearts, minds, and emotions from him and his tricks. Lord may we see life through your eyes Father and respond as you would. Guide us each day in our every step. And above all these things I request Lord, I pray that your will be done along with peace in our hearts. Amen.

Vocabulary 101

We've all heard people say "I've heard that a million times, but never thought of it that way". Well....I said that outloud, to myself, in the truck, on the way to the grocery to get banana pudding ingredients, just a short while ago. You wouldn't think my degree was education based on that last sentence, would you? Good thing is...these are my thoughts and they have a mind all of their own. 

Vocabulary Lesson

Peace: (n) In a state of nonbelligerrnce or accord; not at war; untroubled; tranquil

Pass: (v) To let go without notice, action, remark, etc.; leave unconsidered; disregard; cross

Understanding: (n) mental process of a person who comprehends; comprehension; personal interpretation

Therefore, based on the lesson above, when we hear the phrase "Peace that passes all understanding" we can also say "In an untroubled, free from war, state of mind, that crosses over without regard from any personal desire to comprehend". Do you get this? The peace that is referred to in Phillipians 4:7 is a peace from God that is so great, the peace itself overwhelms and engulfs any desire that we have to comprehend or understand a situation that our hearts and minds smoothly transition from a state of question, confusion, and doubt, to a calm, tranquil, "not at war" state. I LOVE the part of the definition that says "not at war". How often to we feel like we are in the midst of war, physically fighting with our bodies to be what we want them to be or perhaps what our world tells us it should be, mentally combating against negative thoughts towards others, our husbands, our kids, our jobs....Satan. Satan gleefully, no jovially laughs when we are at war whether it be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. And oh my how he loves it when we are at war in more than one area. He LOVES it. And when we are at war in those areas, he thinks he is winning. But God desires peace for us. What do you desire for your family? What do you desire for your friends? Do you want their days to be filled with frustration, anger, saddness, depression, question, and doubt? Or do you want their days to be filled with "peace that passes all understanding?" What are your days filled with?

*Definitions from www.dictionary.com

Bright Orange Package

I pulled in the driveway and saw the small, bright orange package sitting on my steps and my heart filled with excitement. If you've ever received one of these bright orange packages, you know the feeling inside that I'm talking about. Shutterfly! I LOVE Shutterfly and I love getting packages. But more so than getting a package from Shutterfly, I was excited because I knew what it was. 

Over the last couple of years, I have found that a fun way to capture special times in our lives is to create a photobook. It's easy to do, lets me chime into my creative side a bit, easier to keep up with than a million 4x6 photos, and a neat way to share with family what we've been doing over the last year or so when we get together over the holidays. I have photobooks of our wedding day, the day the boys were born, events throughout the year, holidays, preschool artwork, etc. And I wanted our sweet Harrison to have a book too. I think I've mentioned earlier that our nurse took some pictures for us so I uploaded the pictures and created Harrison's photobook. It may be his one and only photobook, but it sure is a special one!

I was so excited to open the bright orange package, sit down, and see our sweet Harrison again. It was almost like I got to hold sweet boy, even though I didnt really get to physically hold him. God's creation is beautiful and amazing. I sat here, full of excitement knowing I get to hold him again one day and how I long for that day and look forward to it. As I sat here thinking of that day, very clearly God said "And I look forward, Kelly, to the day you are physically with me in Heaven and I get to hold you." Wow! I cannot imagine the excitement God must have to one day hold all his children. Meanwhile, while on Earth, I can feel his sweet embrace. If I had one request, I would ask the Lord to hold Harrison, love on Harrison, and tell him all the stories that we would have told him about our God. But the sweet thing is...I dont have to ask...Harrison went peacefully from my womb straight into God's loving arms. All he has ever known is love, what a blessing!

The Author of my Life

If we know who God is, we believe the Bible is God-breathed, we believe all God's promises to be true, we believe God is who he says he is, we believe what God says he can do, we believe that God's love is eternal and everlasting, and we believe that God has a divine plan and will for our life, why do we stray? Why do we long for something more? Why do we question? Why do we fail? Why do we wonder? Why do we hurt? What is it about God that isn't enough for us? If we truly believe all of these things, would we not always be at His feet overwhelmed with humble tears giving him praise and thanksgiving? We live in a fallen, sinful world, yes. We live in a world where Satan lurks, preys, and brutally attacks, yes. But if we believe all of these things above to be true about our God and we believe that God has selected us to be in his kingdom, then a+b means that we belong to God. Therefore, we do not belong to Satan, so he can lurk, prey, and attack, but little does he know....he can never have us. So.....my question again....why are we not always at His feet overwhelmed with humble tears giving him praise and thanksgiving? Why am I not always at His feet overwhelmed with humble tears giving him praise and thanksgiving? What is it that keeps us from drawing nearer to God? Pride? Time? Kids? Job? Family? Embarrassment? Priorities?

In April, our lives got a little busier than we were accustomed to. Jim started traveling more, April's Fury tornadoes came through and left us without power for a week, meanwhile the stomach bug hit our house for 14 days straight, it was crunch time at work with our seniors as graduation was quickly approaching, amongst other things that I will not go into. It was at a time in my life where I felt I might quite possibly pull all of my hair out. Everything was out of my control. One night, while laying on the bathroom floor covered in towels, waiting for Parker's next "round" to hit, I knew I had hit my limit and I could not handle this life on my own anymore.  I prayed that the Lord would fill my heart with His strength to conquer the coming hours and days as I knew this "bug" was not near over. I knew that I was not, in my life, where God would desire me to be. We were busy going here and there and things had just gotten 'hectic', for lack of a better word. That night, on the cold, germy,  bathroom floor I asked God to transform my life. I prayed, "Lord draw me nearer and nearer to you. Transform my life into whatever you have desired for it to be. Change me, mold me, shape me. Lord, at whatever cost, please Lord, live in me and use me as your light. Change me to be whoever you want me to be." Sure enough, within 36 hours I was laying on the cold, germy, bathroom floor again, all by myself this time. Odds were pretty good that considering the bug scenario I was sure to get it. However, I like to look back and think that I didnt have the bug everyone else had, but rather God was expelling all the nasties in my life so He could begin His good!

Almost exactly to the date 4 months after the tornadoes came through and we were sick, we lost Harrison. If you have read my previous posts, you know this time has been a synonymous mixture of heartache and hope for me. The Lord has been very real in my life, in our lives and we are forever grateful for that! God has answered many prayers and continues to fill us with his promise of hope for a better 'tomorrow'. With all that being said, to answer my previous question: What is it that keeps us from drawing nearer to God? Here goes my vulnerability...my answer is fear. My fear is that God might use another tragedy in my life to draw me nearer to Him. Selfishly, I do not want to encounter tragedy, heartache, and/or loss again. Why can I not just be where God wants me to be and not have to suffer in that way. WOW....how selfish is that thinking? I'm pretty sure that our Lord would much rather have saved his Son than have to crucify him to show us His love...YES SIR....that will put you back in your place. One of the many many good things here, is that I do not have to decide. God has written the perfect life for me even before I was in my mother's womb. He knows every detail, and I need not worry about tomorrow; for the master creator is in control.

Thank you Sweet Jesus for writing my life story. I pray God that I will wake each day with a desire to be fully used for your kingdom however you wish. Thank you Lord for knowing what I need and when I need it, even when I have no words to know what I need.  I pray Father that you will receive all the glory day in and day out. Amen.

Prayer

My prayer today is for some friends from high school who will bury their 2 month old at 11:00 am today. Please keep them in your prayers.

Father God,

You are a mighty God. We praise you and thank you for who you are Lord. For the sacrifice you made giving up your son so that we may have life. Such a sacrifice in our human minds is heart-wrenching and unfathomable, yet you did it so we would know your love. Perhaps the reason you allow some to experience loss is to get a better glimpse of the depth of your love through your sacrifice. I am at your feet today Lord, pleading you be with Katy and Joe today. Father wrap your loving arms around them and give them a peace that passes all understanding. Lord I pray that you cleanse their home of any demons who may try to pry into their lives during this time. God I pray that your blood and scripture will be written on their walls surrounding them at all times. Be their stronghold. Hug them when the times are tough. Give them strength when they have to stand. And give them peace when there are questions. I pray Lord that above all my requests for Katy and Joe, that your loving will be done and that you receive all the glory. May you give Katy and Joe a peace and hope in your kingdom! Thank you Lord for being God of all creation, of the mighty heavens and earth. May we rest tonight knowing you are God and you REIGN! Amen.

Holy Spirit

My mind has been flooded today with a discussion Jim and I had the other day. It involved something we wanted to do to as a memento for Harrison. I decided I could work on it once the boys went to bed, but the closer bed time got, the more upset I got, trying to talk myself out of it. Before long, Parker was out, arms and legs sprawled all over the place, snoring, and drooling. Evidently it was time to move him to bed. I got him up and somehow managed to help him shuffle to the bed, while still asleep. His eyes never opened and he was dead weight. As soon as he hit the bed, he was still immediately, as if he had never moved. I long for rest like this! I tucked him in, leaned over and kissed him, and said "I love you Parker". His eyes opened, he looked at me and said "Mommy, Harrison is in heaven with Jesus", closed his eyes again and was down for the night. It would make sense for me to explain that comment to you by telling you we had talked about Harrison yesterday or that we talked about him every night before bed, but that's not true. We had not talked about him at all yesterday. The best way I can explain it is that the presence of the Lord was in this place. The Holy Spirit spoke so sweetly to me through my Parker.