Today we had planned to have a Gender Reveal party for our family. We figured by the 3rd child we needed to do something extra fun to get everyone pumped up about having another little one running around, making a mess, and tearing into everything. Everyone marked their calendars and my sweet sister even took some time off work so she could be here in plenty of time since she was traveling from out of town. I had my food, decoration, and reveal ideas all organized and fine-tuned. The only thing that needed to happen was have the ultrasound. We didn't get to have our Gender Reveal party today, but we did have a mini party the other day.
Over the last two weeks I have submerged myself in recipe hunting. I have cooked new recipes each night with a wide variety of meals, some hearty and some healthy. I guess cooking is the only thing I feel like I can be in control of right now while my heart and emotions are so out of control. Which is also the reason, I think, that Jim has declined so many meals from our loving friends. Cooking each night has been the one thing I've looked forward to each day. One night, I decided to make the Chocolate Coke Cake. While I was preparing the batter, Parker walked up and said "Mommy...what are you making? A cake?" And before I could even respond, Parker lit up with glee and continued, "OH a BIRTHDAY cake!" I paused for a minute and then answered back, "Yes Parker, do you want to help Mommy make a birthday cake for Harrison?" He quickly answered, "YES YES YES!" The conversation continued and Parker assured me that Harrison wanted a Spiderman cake, but that he couldn't have a monster cake because that was Parker's favorite. We all watched the cake bake in the oven and patiently (some more than others) waited for the cake to cool. I let the boys pick out the birthday candles and decide how many candles we needed for the cake. Without hesitation, Parker said, "3, we need 3 candles". I like to think that Parker chose 3 candles, one for each of them, Parker, Logan, and Harrison. Or perhaps it's because Parker is 3 and he didn't understand it wasn't for him. For whatever the reason he chose 3, in that moment, in that very moment I was reminded of the trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. So thank you Lord for my Parker choosing 3 and reminding me of your love, sacrifice, and grace! And then we sang. We sang Happy Birthday to Harrison.
Plans change. Whether it be a party being cancelled, baking a cake, or loosing a child...plans can change. Dear Lord, I pray today that in all my planning I seek you first and that your will would be my plan for each and every day. Thank you sweet sweet Jesus for your grace and mercy. I pray God that my heart will bleed for you and that this life you have blessed me with will live to glorify you.
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